


Abandoned

by Keirayoruichi



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Abuse, But at least some of them are not jerks, Child Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hope vs. Despair, Hurt/Comfort, Newt Scamander is a Sweetheart, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Some of them, Violence, everything is bad, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-01 09:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13291968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keirayoruichi/pseuds/Keirayoruichi
Summary: //"Do you believe in wizards?"[...]"I wish..." you started quietly, showing him a faded, bittersweet smile as you squeezed the leaflets with your hands. "I think magic would colorize this monochrome world. If it was real, it would be surely beautiful..."//After 16 horrible years of growing up in New Salem Philanthropic Society, your 21st birthday was just around the corner. You were trying to get away for so long without any success, but now you suddenly get a chance to escape thanks to a kind stranger - Newt Scamander.Original idea: @Echo: Newt ScamamderxReader - I'll save you (on Wattpad)//I got inspired by your story, hope you don't mind it!//





	1. Chapter 1

New York, 1926.

The year of your 21st birthday. You should have been excited about it. Finally, the time had come to officially step into the adult's life, to go to work, to earn money and plan a happy family. Every average person thought about the same, at least, you thought so.

Even if this was not your case.

You've grown up in the New Salem Philanthropic Society under Mary Lou Barebone hands. After your parents died in a fire at your age of 4, you got taken to this society. You got a loving family, should you say. Well, you wished you could have said it.... These passing 16 years were not easy on you at all. Especially that Mary Lou was sure during several years that you were the Satan itself. You never knew why, but this made your life into a living hell during that time. Punishments, that you didn't earn, they were in your almost daily routine. She didn't give you mercy even when you were lying in your own blood, crying and begging for her to stop.

But she just... didn't stop.

Then usually she locked you up into your room, not giving you food for a whole day to make you beg her and wanting to confess for your sins that you didn't commit. And when you did so, she let you go to help the society for some days before everything started again. You could have run away. But 2 reasons took you back:

Firstly if you had got out into the city, you probably would have starved to death sooner or later. For someone like you, it couldn't have provided you enough possibilities to live, to survive. You most likely would have just ended up straight dead.

And secondly, you didn't want to leave someone that meant so much to you... Credence Barebone. You looked at him like your best friend, your brother and your only supporter in this wicked world. Well, technically, he WAS your little brother, your stepbrother since you got adopted by Mary Lou as well. Not like it would have changed your opinion about him. He was there, when no one, to help you stand up again, even when you were at your lowest point of your life. You didn't know how he had so much self-esteem that could take this long under such circumstances, but you were grateful for his existence. That's why if you planned to escape, you planned to do it with him. You didn't let him trap here after all that the two of you went through.

And now that your birthday was in just a few days, the light was closer than ever. You saw your escape with your inner eye. It won't be easy, but you'll try your best. That was the least you could do to him. And to yourself.

The only problem with this was that Mary Lou didn't let the two of you communicate much. After your last time trying to get out when you had still thought that this was possible, he decided to keep the two of you away and paid attention not to let you plan something like this again. Thankfully, you didn't need words to understand him. The years and routine made the two of you read each other's mind, and right now both of you were thinking about the same idea.

The escape.  
_______________________________

You were handing out the leaflets of Salem on the street. 

Covering yourself the best you could do, you tried to avoid the chilly feeling of the freezy morning day. The temperature must have been under 0C° according to the frozen puddles near to the road. Everyone was rushing to their workplace, passing you without a word as you tried to give them the paper advertisements about this shitty cult you've been forced to live in. You didn't have such a mood to do to this, but at least you could enjoy the fresh air that you couldn't for like an eternity.

Actually, this was surprising to you. The fact that Mary Lou let you out into the city. You guessed that she knew you wouldn't run away - basically, it would have been equal to committing suicide, especially in this weather. And since you couldn't get rid of her in any way, she might as well gave you a job to make yourself useful...

You were trembling on the middle of the road, reaching out your frozen hand with such an asking eyes to hope that people would pity you and make your job faster. You had no such luck though, everyone was rushing to god-knows-where at this point, ignoring your presence. Although as pathetic as it sounded, you didn't mind this. The freezing weather at least made you forget about all the scars that you got some days before, still stinging on your wrist and palm from every movement you did. And you could forget for a moment about everything horrible that you had to experience...

You glanced at the way you came here for a second, having all your crazy thoughts bursting out once more. What if you could survive here? Finding a place where you could help for someone just to have a roof over your head and food on your table. You didn't ask much, yet you were afraid that nobody would provide you these... and not because they couldn't, but because they wouldn't want to.

After having this quick train of thoughts, you tried to concentrate on your work instead. Or at least, you just wanted to, but at the moment when you turned back to your original spot, you bumped into a stranger that caused you to drop all the leaflets onto the snowy ground.

"I'm sorry, Sir!" You stuttered out in a weak tone as you quickly crouched down to get your mess together.

"I should be the one who apologizes..." said the man in a mazarine fabric coat confusedly, as he bent his knees to join you. It made you stop in your work. You honestly thought he would just walk further as it happened several times before, not paying attention to your presence, or at worse case, you were also prepared to get shouted at your face. But instead, he decided to help you. This was clearly something you didn't dare to expect.

"There's n-no need for that. " you answered quietly, taking shakily one leaflet by one. Your frozen hands made this job even harder. "You may go, Sir. I'm fine to do this alone..."

"At least let me help you." He said warmly, yet you could hear a kind of insecurity in his voice. He probably really meant that he was sorry about this. 

Both of you straightened up, and you accepted as he handed you the other lump of the dropped papers. "Thank you, Sir..." you whispered out, not daring to look up into his eyes.

To your answer, he let out a shy giggle. Did you say something funny? "Please don't call me Sir." He responded at last which made you swallow shakily. "I can't be older than you by 3 or 4 years." 

You glanced up to meet his eyes but he didn't look at yours actually. His regards moved from your nose to your lips then away with a reserved expression. But he let out a soft smile to your reassurance. "Alright.." you said finally "Thank you.. ugh.."

Knowing what you wanted to say, he quickly corrected you, still having hat shy outlook on his expression. "Newt Scamander. Nice to meet you." And he reached out his hand to a handshake.

"(Y/N)... Barebone. And same." You smiled at him, taking his hand carefully, but right after his palm touched yours, an aching pain stung into it, which made you let it go immediately. How could you so easily forget about the still fresh scars on your hands? 

"Is everything alright?" The man looked at you worriedly, but you showed him a forced smile as an answer. This reflex was built into you through the years in Salem. 

"Yeah, I'm... fine. Don't worry." You responded, hoping that he won't question this lie. 

His eyes moved for a moment to your covered hand with a frown but instead of asking about it, he just brought the conversation at the leaflets with curiosity. "What are those?"

"These? These are uhm.." you looked at the papers as well, thinking about how you could approach this topic the most carefully. "advertisements to join the Salem Philanthropic Society."

"Oh..?" he furrowed in confusion. You guessed this probably didn't mean much to him. "I think I heard about it before."

"My.. mother" you were still struggling to call this woman your 'mother' "Mary Lou Barebone is the head of this society and she usually gives speeches in the city, standing out against wizards..." your answer was weak and quiet like you were ashamed just to tell this to others. Were you though? Well, it was sure that the citizens thought you were crazy people in some cult. And surely, this was not that kind of information that you wanted to say in your first impression.

Newt paused for a moment which made your stomach twist. You probably already scared him away or at least made him think you were just as insane as that woman to take part in something like this. Not that it was your choice anyway. You didn't ask to grow up in a wicked place like this. 

The guy must have noticed the sudden change of your expression because his next question got you taken aback. 

"Do you believe in wizards?"

You looked up into his eyes confusedly, wondering whether you heard him wrong. "What?"

He let out a shy smile again, moving his regards away to the busy street before he repeated himself. "Do you believe that magic is real? That wizards are living around us?" 

His question was out of nowhere, but at least you knew you heard him right before. Now, for the answer, you paused a bit before giving it to him. Not because you didn't know what to answer, but what you dared to tell him. He was the first person for a long time that actually counted you as a normal human being, and you were about to make him turn against you. Well, this might never happen, but the anxious thought was still in your mind. At this point though, it was no use to lie, since he most likely already thought you were nuts.

"I wish..." you started quietly, showing him a faded bittersweet smile as you squeezed the leaflets with your hands. "I think magic would colorize this monochrome world. If it was real, it would be surely beautiful..." you lost yourself for a moment in this silly thought, but then you looked back at him, having a slightly embarrassed curl on your lips. "Sorry I got too deep for a second. Don't mind me."

"It's fine. This was actually a really nice thought." he answered softly, leaving a warm aftertaste in your stomach. You couldn't help but think that he really meant this. And this fact, that he didn't judge you for such a crazy thought made you happy. 

Although your expression faded once more you realized your current position. "Anyway, I have to go back. Mother is already waiting for me." You shrugged to the guy, giving him a sad smile for the last time before you bowed a bit in front of him as a goodbye. "Thank you for your kind help. Have a good day, Mr. Scamander." Then you turned your back to him, wanting to walk back, but he stopped you once more. 

"Wait a minute!" he asked suddenly, reaching his arm to your direction.

"Yes?" Your regards rushed back at his face, heart suddenly starting pumping in your chest.

He curled up his lips into a reserved smile before looking at the papers. "Before you go... May I get a copy of this leaflet?"

"Oh.. Sure." you let it out quite disappointedly while handing it to him... wait, why were you disappointed?

"Thanks." he accepted it, still having that soft but cautious smile of his. "Have a good day you too, (Y/N)."

Giving him a small bow again, you finally made your first step back to the Society. As you got further from this interesting stranger, pushing the already wet leaflets to your chest, you let out a sigh. Your heart was still pumping heavily there. Glancing back to the guy, he was still there, standing in that mazarine coat, reading the sloppy paper while everyone else rushed from one place to another. He was different, you felt it. This pooled up a bittersweet feeling in your stomach, knowing that you most likely never saw him again. 

Letting a disappointed smile appear on your face, you whispered out into the snow flurry.

"I wish..."

And you slowly continued your way back to Salem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Hey Guys~☆  
> So. My first chapter. So weird to be back haha
> 
> Anyway! If you read my previous story (Captured) then you know that I love slowburn and long stories lololol so yeah, this is what you can expect here too.
> 
> Thank you for taking your time and making me part of your reading choices btw!~☆
> 
> Hope we gonna have much fun together! Comments are always welcomed here, so don't hold back yourselves:)
> 
> Stay tuned for the next one~☆//


	2. Chapter 2

Home sweet home, shall they say.

You were lucky enough to get the right time when Mary Lou was busy so that you could slip back to the Salem without getting another punishment for not doing your work properly. And to be honest, now that 'your mother' couldn't make a scene about you, it felt like time sped up on his own. When you could finally notice its speed, it had already rushed away, not giving you any chance to react. You tried to avoid contacting anybody this time. You didn't want to accidentally say something you would regret later. In this house even the wall had ears...

The next day Mary Lou decided to go out by herself to give speeches to the citizens. Like she could turn them into 'your' side. Well, her side. You didn't want to take part in this bullshit. Anyway, she let you stay here with the others, but of course only after she gave you two some work, and letting your little sisters, Chastity and Modesty out of this.  You and Credence got the dirty work, to clean up the whole church with the broom, not caring about your condition nor your scars. Your hands were still in a huge pain which lightly twitched everytime you pulled the broomstick at another angle. It should have been painful, but your attention was on another thing.

You couldn't help but think back to the previous day. To that kind stranger. "Newt Scamander..." you whispered out almost mutely, fearing if someone could hear it as you were staring blankly down at the wooden floor. You didn't dare to tell anyone what happened, not like you should have given too much credit for that. It was just an accident, yet... just thinking about that stranger made your stomach squeeze in excitement. He was the first one who didn't look through you. The first one who saw you as a human being. The first one.. who actually helped you since the first time ever. You were pretty sure he noticed the scars on your palm. And now it started bugging you.. whether what could he feel about that? Sympathy? Horror? Anger? Maybe he didn't feel anything at all... You shook your head. Why did you think about this anyway?

Not that the two of you would have met again.

The front door has been opened on the opposite side of the hall. You flinched at the sudden noise which dragged you out of your train of thoughts, although you didn't make much effort to pay attention who came in - Salem has always been a 'welcoming' place for whoever wanted to get somewhere warmed up. Nothing more but a glance was all that you did towards the visitor, but the sight made your heart race up suddenly.

It was him, coming into this place. 

Newt Scamander.

And actually, he was not alone. A woman came with him, cautiously looking around the place. She was wearing a gray, long textile coat with a black cap. It seemed like she was searching for someone or something.. or maybe checking if that was away. You couldn't really read her expression, and to be honest you didn't want to stare at her. She might have noticed you doing it, which would have turned into a really awkward situation.

Besides your attention moved towards the guy who, after noticing where you were, quickly turned his steps towards you. Every inch he did to get closer made you nervously squeeze the broomstick tighter, despite the scars on your palms. Then he stopped in front of you, now struggling like he came here without thinking and now he didn't know what to say. It seemed like you had to start this conversation.

"You came here..." you stated it out after a heavy swallow.

He showed you a faded smile as a response "Well since I got your leaflet I might as well thought about visiting you. Also my.." he stopped for a split second like he was thinking about the perfect word. "..friend wanted to make a visit too. I think she mentioned about meeting already with that boy before." He glanced towards the woman who apparently found your friend in the other part of the hall. She was currently talking to him and he was cautiously listening to her. He didn't look scared though, so you guessed that she was only asking some questions or so.

"She met Credence?" You raised a brow curiously.

He shrugged. "As far as I know."

Your friend didn't tell you that the two of them met before. Although... now you felt like you've already seen that woman somewhere. A quick shiver rushed through your spine at the thought of it. 

Weird.

Newt eyes wandered up towards you for a moment. "So do you live here?" He looked around, checking everything in this tumbledown building.

"For 16 years, yes. Home sweet home, shall I say." Your lips curled up into a smile, however, they turned up into a bittersweet one instead. Your palms unconsciously got tighter on the broomstick again.

"That's a long stay..." He glanced at them, seeming to notice the gesture. "Were you born here?"

You looked up towards him and your eyes actually met for a second before he looked away. Then your regards focused on the timber floor instead. "None of us were."

Your tone sounded so empty and disappointed that he couldn't answer right away. Fortunately, he didn't have to, because the woman approached the two of you and signed to Newt to come to her.  You watched silently as the two of them had a little conversation. They were just out of reach so you couldn't catch what did she told him, but Newt seemed to turn into a bit uneasy.

Your attention moved to his brown, worn-out suitcase that he was grabbing tightly - like he was protecting it at any cost. It went kind of well to his mazarine fabric coat, to be honest. If you were thinking about it, he really did have an outstanding appearance, especially next to this woman. Like he would be the only colorful being in this monochrome, dark world. 

You noticed that even though she looked into his eyes, his regard stuck to the floor, but then jumped at you. This somehow made your stomach squeeze nervously. Why did he look at you?Were they talking about you? 

When they finished, Newt approached you once again, though still having a bit of that uneasy expression of his. "We have to go now." He sighed, looking away "Are you always handing out leaflets in the city?"

"Well, it depends on how my-" you started, but realized that continuing this sentence would just go terribly wrong. You didn't want to bother him with your health anyway. "It depends on my mother. Sometimes she sends me, but the others do this job as well when I'm.. busy with cleaning."

He glanced up at the end of the sentence "Could you make it, that you will get out tomorrow somehow? I would like to talk more, but time is short."

With your suddenly racing heart, you nodded at him without hesitation. "I-I'll try."

"Around 3pm?"

"Should be good for me."

To your answer he eased up a little, now showing you a bit more confident smile. "Alright. Have a good day, Y/N."

You couldn't help but smile back at him. "You too, Newt."

He waved at you, still having that reserved smile of his, then turned back to the woman. You watched them as they walked towards the entrance. And thus, you could see as Newt glanced back at you once more, before the big wooden door covered your sight.

And you stayed standing there alone, having that timber broomstick still grabbed in your palms. Finally, you looked down and let out a sigh. So many thoughts rushed through your mind. Why did he come here? To see you again? No, that's not possible. He probably came here to accompany that woman who had some business here. He wouldn't have come here just for you... would he? Now another thought appeared in your mind. You've suddenly become curious about that woman. What could she ask about Credence?

You glanced at the other side of the hall where your friend continued his cleaning. You fastened your steps towards him not letting go that broom out of your hands. You could've never known when Mary Lou would come back.

"Credence!" you called him to bring his attention towards you.

He glanced up at the familiar voice "Y/N?"

"That woman" you tilted your head towards the door "what did she say to you?"

"She just asked me if our mother was here." He preferred to call that monster to your mother even after all that she did. Sometimes you just didn't get Credence's ways of thinking. "I told her that she was away and actually she looked a bit more relieved to hear that."

"Huh, I guess she didn't want to meet her. Or vice versa."

"Maybe.." he shrugged, then frowned "And after that... she asked me if I was okay then told me to stay strong."

This suddenly felt out of the blue. "What?"

But your friend just shrugged again "I-I don't know.. I've never met her before. She didn't even tell me her name." Another frown followed the last. "Although, this whole situation was just so weird. I felt like I knew her from somewhere. But I can't recall it."

You bit your lower lip, looking away confusedly. You had this feeling too. But it felt like some key parts of the puzzle was missing: that you just couldn't remember why she was so familiar to you... to apparently both of you. "Weird."

"I know right..." With a sudden thought, his regard lowered down to your hands. "I'm sorry."

You confusedly glanced up into his eyes "For what?"

He tilted his head towards them "Your hands."

"Oh" you looked down, but then showed him a sympathetic smile "I'm fine. They don't hurt that much. " Maybe you lied a bit in this one, but you didn't want him to feel any guilt unnecessarily. "I survived worse too."

"As the oldest boy in the family, I feel like I couldn't protect you.."

"If it's about 'our mother' then nobody can protect us." Your smile turned into a more hurt one. "Besides I'm older anyway, so it's my duty to protect myself even if that's the only thing I can do."

He flashed you un unsatisfied regard which made you chuckle. You loved these small secret conversations between the two of you because at least now, you felt a bit more alive. You could only hope that he felt the same too.

His eyes softened as another question popped up in his mind "Who was that guy anyway?"

You couldn't help but slightly blush to his question. You still weren't sure whether you wanted to tell him about Newt or not. Not that you didn't trust him... he was your best friend after all. But for some reason, you felt like you should wait with this. "O-Oh, he's..." you started now more shakily, but couldn't finish your sentence because of the opening entrance.

Mary Lou was here.

You quickly quietened and anxiously squeezed the broomstick to your chest like you'd take up a defensive position. You could see that Credence's grab on his also tightened for the same reason. And actually, you had reasons to fear. When she arrived, she always checked whether everything went the way she wanted. And if she found something unsatisfying, then someone got punished. In these cases, she preferred the belt, but if she was really angry, Mary Lou wasn't afraid to use harder tools either.

The woman slowly stepped into the building, closing the wooden door behind her. 

"Good afternoon, our beloved Mother." Both of you greeted her with almost a robotic tone.  When she noticed the two of you, her eyes narrowed. She really didn't like you hanging with Credence.

"Did something happen while I was away? Was someone here, looking for me?"

These were just a simple questions, but you felt a pile quickly growing in your stomach. You glanced at you friend who was unsure what to say, so you took over the control instead. "No, Mother. Salem was quiet this time." You knew if she found out the truth she'd be furious, but you felt like it was a must to do.

"I guess not, if you two were chatting all day." She grunted but started walking to the tables in the middle of the hall.

"We've just finished cleaning." You answered briefly, but Credence tossed you on your side, indicating that you should stop. You'd better not make this woman angry because you would be the one who suffers at the ned.

Mary Lou's eyes flashed back at you "I hope so." Then she continued looking around.

You couldn't help but feel anxious about the way she has walked around, precisely like she would like to search for a mistake you've made, just for the sake to punish you. She did really hate you. She hated so many things in you. Your stubbornness, and willpower that let you talk in such a sharp tongue that nobody else dared in Salem. Maybe this came to you as the oldest one here or they were the part of your personality. But either way, you didn't want to follow her like Chastity or Modesty did.  What Mary Lou did was wrong. Even if it seemed like she was a good person on the outside, she wasn't. She was obsessed with something that made her crazy as well.

"It's cleaned up pretty poorly." she commented in an unsatisfied tone, then turned her head back to you for a second before going further. "You couldn't even do this little thing well?"

You were sure you've pissed her up and that's why she started to pick up on you too. But you were always on the bad side. Whatever happened you got the worse outcome. This made you anxiously squeeze the broom in your palm. "I'm sorry Mother.." you let it out quietly, looking down at the floor. These times this was the only correct answer to give. You had no choice.

"You'd better feel guilty Y/N. You know exactly what those people get who don't take seriously the chores they got."

You felt that coming. "Y-Yes I know."

"And still, you continue making me disappointed?"

"Her hands are hurt, they slowed her down, Mother."

Both of you looked at the source of the voice. Your eyes widened gratefully to see that Credence stood up on your side. It was the first time that happened actually. He didn't have the courage not even once to talk back to your mother. He knew exactly what would happen that time. Yet now, he was standing next to you, protecting you. You felt that there was two possibility now.

Either both of you got beaten up or neither of you.

The woman narrowed her eyes again. "Now you too, Credence? Do you dare to stand up against me too? I was right when I thought Y/N had a bad influence for all of you." You've swallowed heavily, still fearing the first possibility. But then she turned her back towards you with a grunt "I don't have the time for this. Just go up into your room and don't dare to get in front of my eyes until tonight."

The two of you let out a relieved sigh and rushed up to the stairs after saying her your thanks. You hated that every time she had the right even if she wasn't. You had no rights in this building. Everything happened in a way that she wanted to. She was the leader, the dictator and you the servants.

Getting up to the upstairs, away from Mary Lou's sight, you gave Credence a warm hug "Thanks for standing up for me."

He, at first startled but then hugged you back "If I didn't do it then she'll beat you." He let you go with a shrug "I guess that strange woman made me strong with her words."

"You mean the woman with Newt?"

"Newt? Is that the guy's name who came with her?"

You turned pale suddenly thinking his name just slipped through your mouth. That's why you'd avoided everyone yesterday but now you spoke without thinking - as always. "Yeah, uhh" you scratched nervously the back of your head while quietening your voice. "Could you keep this in secret? I wouldn't want our mother to somehow know this."

Your friend frowned, but accepted it "Alright, she'll never know it."

To his answer, a wide, relieved smile sat upon your lips. "Thanks, Credence, you're the best."

He seemed to get flattered a bit by the compliment, but he smiled back. "You too, Y/N."

The two of you suddenly heard footsteps coming up on the stairs, so you said a quick goodbye and rushed into your rooms. After closing the door behind you, another relieved sigh left your mouth. You've survived this conversation with your mother too and now Credence was braver than ever. You were really proud of him.

Sitting up down on your ramshackle bed, the thought of Newt's ask came to your mind again. Your heart rate fastened up every one of his words. You couldn't help but hope that he wanted to help in some way, that's why he's so welcoming. He saw your suffering and wants you to get out. You might have been naive, but at least this thought brought a little warmness in your heart.

You wanted to see him. Even if that meant slipping out of Salem and magically coming back without Mary Lou noticing you. It was dangerous but you wanted to do it anyway.

 

You just.. had to meet him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Hey Guys~☆
> 
> I would like to make a schedule about my posting time. After what happened with my other fic, I can't promise anything, but I try to keep this 1 week/ 1 chapter schedule. Also, probably this time would be the ideal for me ( Saturday, UTC +1:00 around midnight). Hope that at least this way you can expect the chapters~☆
> 
> Thank you if you decided to continue reading this story btw~☆ Means a lot~☆ //


	3. Chapter 3

You did it.

You asked Mary Lou during the morning if you could send out the leaflets this time, but she refused it. According to her, you have been performing poorly, so instead, she gave the work Chastity, leaving you at Salem. It seemed everything has fallen apart, and you wouldn't be able to meet Newt once more, but you decided not to give up here. You decided to pay attention to every little move she did. And actually, you had luck. She planned to go to some kind of newspaper office with Credence and Modesty on her side, probably to convince the people there to believe in her obsession. Of course, she left you out of this as well. She didn't really like to share the world the fact that you existed. So, to be honest, the simple occasions when you could go out to do some work outside, they were so refreshed... they made you feel alive. Or at least a bit more.

You had been listening from the upstairs when the woman gathered up everyone else to tell them their best behavior to put up for the meeting. During these times, she commanded the best part of yourselves to show, since you had to somehow gain the trust of the others. And in these years, with the influence you had, it was a ridiculously hard thing to do.

Though soon, they were gone and it was your time to shine.

After you've made sure that they were away, you quickly put up your coat and carefully stepped out of the building, leaving it alone. Now all you had to do was to avoid Chastity who was still doing her work out there because she had heard your conversation with your mother and she knew you weren't supposed to be in the city. She was an obedient girl enough to tell this Mary Lou, and then it would mean that you are dead. This was something you just couldn't afford to let happen.

You chose the smaller streets to arrive at the place you two had met. You didn't dare to risk the chance of an unwelcomed punishment. Walking on the smaller roads, even during a time like this was chilly. There was a homeless man leaning into the landfill, searching for some food probably. You tried to pass him, sneak away behind him silently, but he still noticed you, calling you out to stop for a moment. You've quickened your pace, hoping that he wouldn't follow you. Although, if you thought about it, his and your situation was not so different. And who knows how would you end up if you were dropped out into the world. As you thought, not so different.

Maybe you would be probably dead already.

Reaching the end of the hallway, you looked around in the street. It was a huge avenue with rushing people on it. Just like 2 days before. You couldn't notice any figure who looked like Chastity though, so at least to your relief, she had decided to go to another street.

One less problem, you guessed.

Now, you had to find Newt. Well, if he was here anyway. You could actually not be sure about this. He might have tricked you. Maybe he just wanted to bait you out so you might get caught later... now, you didn't want to be a pessimist, but these doubtful thoughts were always hiding in the back of your mind. Probably the past years made you like this.

_____________________________________

You've been anxiously walking around. Suddenly the loud chime of bells made you jump in your place. Glancing up at the clock on the tower, you saw it'd passed 3 pm 30. "He's late... Where is he..?" you whispered out in such a weak tone that it broke even your heart. God, you developed your stupid hope naively, and now you are disappointed? You just shouldn't trust strangers so thoughtlessly.

You really are a fool.

"Y/N!"

You instantly turned to the source of the familiar tone. It was him, running towards you from the opposite side of the road. Once he arrived, he took a deep breath to the cold air before he continued. "I'm sorry for being late! Things had come up and I just... I couldn't do anything!"

For a second, you just looked at him without saying a word. He was clearly out of breaths and you couldn't help but notice his clumsiness in his words which made him look trustful. A weak, almost inaudible giggle let out your lips. 

He noticed it and raised a brow confusedly. "What?" He embarrassedly smiled at you, not understanding the situation. 

"I just..." you started, but got stuck in your own words "I'm sorry, it's just stupid." You let out a sigh as your giggling expression faded. You looked away reservedly.

"It's fine." he shrugged, now a bit more confidently "No answer is stupid in my opinion."

You hesitated, but then decided to tell him. "I thought you would never come." You glanced up, but instantly turned your regards away, now feeling embarrassed "I-I mean! Of course, I was wrong! It was just a quick thought..." He didn't say anything at first and couldn't even see his reaction. But this felt awkward, you had to say something more. "Thank you for coming. Really." You looked back at him, now showing a smile. It was weak and fragile, but it was honest. 

He seemed to ease up to your words. "I'm pretty sure it's the least I could do." 

"Little things still deserve appreciation." You shrugged, letting the smile widen on your lips.

"That's right." he agreed, then glanced to the hallway where you'd come. "Come." And he started walking in that direction even before you could catch up with him. You confusedly hesitated what to do, but to his wave, you decided to follow him. Just a few steps and you were out of the mass of people now in a much more quiet place. Then he stopped and this made you slow your pace. 

"Where.."

He glanced back to the street. "Sorry I just wanted to be away from this hecticness out there."

"Oh, well.. I don't mind it. This mass of people bothers me too." Your expression eased up to his response. For a moment you were worried about his intentions, but at the end, he was just like always from the time you knew him. He didn't want to harm you at all.

"I'm glad you came here by the way." He said with a warm smile. Then, this expression of his faded, like he put up a more serious one. "Are you okay?"

Suddenly feeling anxious, you swallowed, thinking about a good response. But instead, you just decided to go with the same method as always. "Of course I am. W-why do you wonder?" Having that little trembling in your voice made another worried gulp in your stomach.

"Because it doesn't seem like it..." His eyes, those ocean-blue, serious-looking eyes could see through you. Suddenly, you felt vulnerable, knowing that you couldn't hide away from it. You had to say the truth... But now he quickly moved away his regard, with an embarrassed chuckle. "God, I'm doing this again. No wonder everyone thinks I'm annoying."

You're not annoying at all. You just care. you wanted to say but your mouth didn't let him hear it. Instead, you bit your lower lip, looking down at the ground. "I assume you've seen those scars."

He nodded in agreement. "They're pretty noticeable."

You couldn't help but smile at his words. It seems like Mary Lou wasn't skillful enough to hide them. "My.. mother... she beats us." You confessed with a deep sigh. Every part of this sentence was hard to say it out loud. You've never done it before, but now you felt more relieved than ever. This secret was pressuring your inside since the very beginning, but maybe now, you've found someone who you could trust.

Newt's eyes widened as he frowned in disbelief. "Only you?"

You've taken a long breath "I have one little brother and two little sisters. But she only beats me and Credence."

"The boy right?"

You nodded and crossed your arms defensively. "It seems like she hates just the two of us. What did we do to deserve this? Alright, we make mistakes sometimes, but... this doesn't mean to..." you stopped, noticing the fat tears that now were sliding down on your cheeks. For a second, none of you said a word. You didn't dare to look into your partner's eyes, instead you just quickly swept them away. "Sorry I got too emotional." You mumbled quietly.

"Shouldn't it be normal to have feelings?"

You started smiling bittersweetly. "No one cares in Salem."

"Well I care."

You looked up, finally meeting his eyes. They might not have seemed really confident, but you could easily see how sincere they were. And it moved you. Your lungs felt tight as they squeezed a sob out. Again, you reached up to your cheeks to clear the fresh warm tears away. 

"I know it's hard to gain trust for others.." he started in a very soft, calming tone "But if you need someone to talk with, I'm here."

A new smile appeared slowly on your lips as the true meaning of his words reached you. It was broken and hurt, yet it had hope. About him.

"Thank you Newt."

You mumbled out and added:

"It means a lot. Really."

______________________________________

You were talking with Newt for about an hour. With every sentence that left your mouth made your lungs lighter. You wanted to talk with somebody since a really long time. And you needed someone who was not in the same shoes like you. Someone, who could look inside from the outside. And he could perfectly fit this role. Newt might have been a quiet guy in general, but you knew he was paying attention. Whatever you two were talking about, he was on that topic, letting you a hand to feel better. He had a great sense to understand others.

Now since he knew that this little conversation would last longer than expected, he insisted you for a hot drink in the near cafeteria. At first, you tried to refuse it, but at the end, you couldn't resist his sweet offering. And of course, it turned out to be the right choice to lean on his idea, since it started heavily snowing outside, making it even harder to stay on the streets.

As the tower clock hit 5 pm you jumped up in your place, realizing that Mary Lou and his little gang might have already come back. And if this was the case you couldn't expect anything good. Newt looked at you, suddenly confused about your alarm.

"Is everything alright?" He asked almost innocently, turning his head around to see if someone made you behave like this.

"Yeah, it is... I just.." You suddenly felt a squeeze in your stomach as anxiety burst up to the surface. "I really have to go now. I'm sorry."

"Oh." he started smiling, but you could see disappointment hidden as well. "Alright, thanks for coming."

"Thank you for inviting me once more." you let out a smile as well which at least let a small of warmth feel in your core. 

He also stood up, looking at you shyly like he would just about to start a confession. "And maybe.. somehow tomorrow-"

"Yes!" You interrupted him immediately but now as you noticed his startled expression, your cheeks burned up. "I mean.. If we could meet tomorrow... that would be nice." You bit your lower lip now feeling embarrassed. Damn it and your always open mouth.

Still, your response only made Newt's smile widen. "Alright. Then see you tomorrow Y/N."

"Yeah" your lips finally curled into a smile as well. "See you soon." Then you stood up and walked to the door. But as soon as you grabbed the handle, he made you stop again.

"Y/N!" You quickly turned to the source of the voice, noticing your partner in your sight. He rushed towards you, having a sudden worry in his eyes now. "I just ugh.. wanted to say.." he stuttered again like he moved without thinking and now he regrets everything. "Take care of yourself, Y/N."

This small gesture of his made your cheeks burn up and your heart rate accelerate. It was such an unknown feeling to have someone outside of your family care about you. A strange but pleasurable feeling. Deep inside you craved for more. But you knew you couldn't.

"I will. Thank you Newt."

He showed you a wide smile, now more confident than ever, which gave you warmth build up in your stomach. You couldn't help but repay this smile before you stepped out of the cafeteria.

It was still heavily snowing out there.

You dragged your coat together, hoping it would give you enough warmth. Then, as your mind wandered from your partner back to your mother, you quickened up your pace. That smile of yours faded as you tried to cover the distance of Salem. But at the same time, your eyes were analyzing the mass of people around you, deeply hoping that you wouldn't bump into Chastity somehow. Yet, the girl was not around or already was at home. You really hoped that it wasn't the latter. The ideal situation would be to go back before the others arrive, because to be honest, you didn't really have any made up excuses. If Mary Lou found you like this, you could surely expect something horrible coming as well.

Just a few more steps.

You stopped in front of Salem's entrance, heavily panting out small breath clouds to the air. Feeling suddenly anxious, you looked around to check whether someone unpleasant was around. But no, only the other unknown citizens were just rushing around as always. No acquaintance could be seen. Your regard focused back again to the wooden door as you took a deep sigh to steady your heart rate. You cautiously grabbed the freezing handle, and push it down as softly as possible.

You arrived to stage 2 of your plan.

If the others were at home now, you had to hide from them and do everything not to get caught. With a careful push, you opened the door and peeked in.

No sound.

No movements.

Nothing.

You sighed in relief. It seemed that no one was around. Have they not even arrived yet? To be honest, you didn't want to think about this too deeply, it was better to just use your luck without any questions. After slipping through the opened gap, you quickly put your coat to the coathanger to its original place. Although as soon as you took it down, you noticed the remained snow slowly melting on it. With some quick movement, you cleared it, sweeping the snow to the floor. Then with your boots, you kicked them away a bit so that it didn't look like it was yours. Chastity's coat was also on the other hanger, melted snow sparkling on it. She had already arrived, it seemed.

To this, your lungs squeezed in a slight panic. She was not really someone who you could fully trust since she was so close to Mary Lou. Like a little puppy, following her everywhere, and doing every one of her orders. You only hoped she didn't want to make a big scene about this. Since this floor was so quiet, you assumed that she was at upstairs. Carefully walking around, you've made your way up as well. You managed to get past her room without any sound so that you could go into your room and wait for others to arrive. As soon as you reached that little cave of your, the previous worry disappeared and excitement stepped into its place. Now you couldn't wait for the rest to get back. Especially for Credence. You had so much to talk about with him.

Around 10 minutes later you've heard the loud creak of the entrance while you were resting a bit. The others finally came back. You jumped up from your bed and almost rushed towards the banister of the upstairs. Downstairs Mary Lou and the kids have just finished to put down their coat. You tried to send imaginary signs to Credence, asking him to come to you. But apparently, after he put down the stack of leaflets he was holding, the boy turned to upstairs on his own. When he appeared on your level, you waved at him quickly with a wide smile that you couldn't hide anymore. He furrowed his brows but followed you into your room.

Once he was inside, you closed the door immediately, hoping that it would lock in the noise as well. "I have something to tell you." You started excitedly.

"Let me guess. You were outside, right?" He answered in a phlegmatic tone.

This response of him startled you "Ugh.. how do you know?"

"I saw the puddle under your coat." he tilted his head outside "Besides, it was still moist..."

Now suddenly you felt anxiety building up in your stomach. "Was it so easily noticeable? I should have been more careful. What if mother noticed it?"

"Don't worry, I put mine onto yours so my coat will cover it."

"Thanks, Credence!" You sighed in relief "You just saved me."

"So.." he started, staring the floor blankly "where have you been?"

"I met Newt." You said brightly "He came to meet me as he promised and we've been talking for like an hour. I didn't even realize how fast it was spent. He just.. so nice." 

"Do you like him?"

You stopped for a moment, feeling blush appear on your cheeks. He wasn't this straightforward usually. You decided to avoid the correct response though. "Well of course I do, I start to think that he wants me to be his friend."

He shot you the look of 'Are you a complete idiot?' since you clearly didn't give him the answer he needed. "And why are you telling me this anyway?"

You frowned confusedly "What?"

"It's none of my business. Then you're supposed to keep it to yourself."

You couldn't answer to him right away. You didn't understand this situation. Why did he suddenly turned against you? "Credence what are you talking about? He can help us to go away."

"And then what?" Did he seem to get frustrated now? What did you say that made him angry?

"What what? What's up with you? Did you forget it? He can save us all. From this monster!" You grabbed his shoulders and shook him to finally get him back to the real world. Really, what the hell was going on?

But then, that slow and quiet answer he gave, made your heart break.

"The world doesn't need a freak like me. Then I might as well stay in the garbage heap where I belong."

Now suddenly everything cleared like you've found the last puzzle for the picture. 

"What happened?" You asked worriedly since you knew he wouldn't be like this on his own. "Credence please answer me."

"Don't worry about me Y/N. Soon everything will work out. I promise." He whispered out almost ghostly which made a shiver rush down on your spine. You tried to read any kind of expression from his face, but he was staring forward emptily and blankly. Just like a marble statue. "Sorry but I have to go now." He said, finally breaking the stillness, and got free from your hold.

You didn't even have time to react, since he was already out of your room. Startled, you sat back on the bed, confusedly looking in the direction where your friend left you. His last sentence scared you a bit. What was he planning? You've rarely seen him so upset nowadays. However, you exactly knew he was keeping his feelings away, just like you did. When you told Newt about this, you weren't lying. 

In Salem, no one could be their true self.

No one.

There was only lying.

Everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Hey Guys~☆
> 
> Sorry, I was late as soon as I told you my schedule. But! I kept at least the Saturday part! So if I post it, it'll usually be on Saturday. Hope at least this will give you a kind fact to hold on.
> 
> Now, I'm slowly getting where I really want to be! Don't worry, I already planned a lot of things ahead! And I hope every one of them will entertain you in any way~☆
> 
> Now see you in the next chapter~☆//


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one contains violence but well this is why the warning is out.

Shoes done.

Coat done.

The time has come.

You've just carefully closed the church's door behind you. The cold wind brushed your face as you looked around the street. Busy people were rushing just like always. With some quick steps, you increased the distance between yourself and that obnoxious place, so that you could finally lose the sight of Salem.

Another day, another escape, shall you say.

You didn't know how long you could continue this though. The inner fear kept telling you that sooner or later Mary Lou will find out the truth and then you can say goodbye to Newt forever. This attempt might have been your most risky one as well, since you sneaked out while the others were still at home, doing their work. Your heartbeat quickened up at the mere thought of you getting caught by that woman. But you couldn't help it.

You wanted to meet Newt again.

You might have turned out to be naive and childish. Sacrificing so much for just a simple meeting seemed ridiculous from the outside. Yet, you felt bold. Unstoppable. After all, finally something was able to heat that shuttered heart of yours. A warm, pleasurable feeling that you didn't want to let go. Because you feared if you did, it would disappear forever.

Your steps were quick and careless as you almost flew to the certain destination, letting an excited smile creep on your lips meanwhile. You knew you should have been more cautious about your surroundings since God-knows-who was on or against your side. Maybe Mary Lou has already sent someone after you. Or maybe not. Maybe it was just phantom that your brain made up after all.

________________________

10 minutes passed.

20 minutes passed.

30 minutes passed.

"He's late again..." you whispered out, trailing a foggy cloud to the air as you dragged the side of the coat closer. But then you put up your most confident smile as a reassurance "But I'm sure he will be in any seconds... He promised it after all." You said it out loud like it would come from someone else to make you relieved. There wasn't anyone around, though. You were alone. 

Completely alone.

40 minutes passed.

50 minutes passed.

You flinched as the tower-clock hit 4 pm and the bells' catchy melody started ringing. Biting your lower lip, you felt an anxious gulp pile up in your stomach. You had to get back. Your mother might have already found out your slacking. You couldn't risk it any longer. 

After a heavy breath, you slowly turned your back towards the road where he had supposed to come from and took a step forward. Your legs felt like lead, not wanting to move anywhere. But you focused to make an effort on the frozen parts and actually were successful. Although... every step you had made just shuttered your heart once more. You couldn't help but notice how a lonely warm tear slid down on your cheek. Damn, you did it again. Now that your anxiety reached you, it was way harder to think reasonably. He didn't leave you on purpose, you knew it. Or did he? No, he surely had some reasons not to come here. Or he just got bored of you so quickly.

You shook your head and deeply inhaled. No, he wouldn't be like that.

You knew it.

"He promised it." The sentence left your mouth as you stabilized your breath. Then repeated the same reassurance.

"He promised it..."

_________________________

After what it felt like an eternity, the building of Salem reached your sight once more. Arriving at the entrance, you swallowed the last remained part of your previous sobs, and focused on your new task. It was now or never. You took a deep breath and with a trembling hand, you slowly opened the door, carefully listening, not to make any noise. And you didn't. This time the wooden object moved as smoothly as it could, practically soundlessly. Only when you stepped inside, you let out a breath, that you didn't even realize you were holding. As carefully as it was possible, you closed the door behind you, now ensuring your safety. Though, you couldn't be sure about that until you reached your room. As much as it seemed like a prison, it was just as safe too. A place where no one could ever hurt you. Now, you turned to the hanged up coats, to quickly take down the only evidence that verified you about your escape.

But then a hand from behind dragged your shoulder to turn you around.

You almost let out a scream mixed up with fear and surprise, but at the last moment, you decided to just swallow it down, and oh thank god you did. Because it was Credence. He was at the corner nearby and you were not paying enough attention to notice him before. Well, you could have saved yourself from a near heart attack for sure. 

Although, his expression didn't reassure you at all. He looked.. intense? Something was really bothering him. And it was most likely you.

"Credence, is every-"

"I-I'm sorry Y/N!" He whispered out, interrupting your question. "I'm so sorry! I messed it up, it's my fault!" Even when he was so quiet, you could easily hear out the desperation from his tone. It made you tense up as well.

"Credence, please calm down." You tried to make this situation easier for him somehow. Also, now you really wanted to know what was this about, since it was always a bad sign if he was panicking so hard just like he did now. "What happened?"

You could tell he was way out of his comfort zone as he nervously looked around, purposely avoiding any kind of eye-contact. Something or more like someONE made him like this. And you had a pretty precise guess for it.

"Credence, look I'm here, nothing bad can happen from now on." You said, clearly knowing how big of a lie you just said, while you put up a smile despite your growing nerves.

His look easily showed that he was not buying any of that bullshit. Well, it was a weak try, you admitted it. He looked down at the floor like he was gathering effort for something. "I-I-I..." he stuttered out so quietly that you had to closely pay attention to understand it. His voice was trembling, but then with a swallow, he tried to overpower his panic. "I was.. meeting with something too. His n-name is Mr. Graves." He literally pushed the words out of his mouth.

This just came out of nowhere. "What?" You whispered out confusedly.

"Mr. Graves. If anything happens, find him!" He clenched his teeth with an intense expression that could make a shiver rush down your spine.

"What I don't-"

"Our wandering little birdy has finally arrived as I see."

You froze in place, hearing his voice out of nowhere. Looking up to the gallery, you saw Mary Lou as he showed you a self-confident, menacing smile. But then her expression changed, putting up a judging regard as she crossed her arm commandingly. "Please come here Y/N." Having your heart race up, you heavily swallowed your nerves back, feeling as it clearly burdened down your body in your place.

"I'm sorry!" Suddenly Credence cried out, diverting your attention back to him "P-Please forgive me Y/N!" His tone was so desperate that you couldn't help but feel your heart sink in guiltiness. You were still so confused, but the puzzles seemed to just connect now. And looking down at your friend's hands, your guess became surer than ever. His palms were covered by fresh scars with red outlines. He's just got beaten up. By that son of a bitch. You weren't scared anymore. Now all you felt was pure anger. 

Towards that monster.

But then you thought about Newt and what he would do in your place. This sudden revengefulness disappeared, only calmness stayed. Gathering all of your strength, you showed him the best smile you could do at the moment. "Please don't cry Credence.. You didn't do anything wrong. I brought this to myself." But then your voice trembled, pushing away that confidence you just had. The smile faded, now leaving only a fake one on its place. You just.. weren't strong enough.

Not being able to say anymore, you slowly turned to the woman, who was still staring at you demandingly. Then, with a heavy swallow, you approached the stairs to the upper floor.

"Credence, come here you too. I want everyone in this house know what will happen if someone doesn't obey the rules."

You stopped for a second, feeling your lungs squeeze in fear. But then you continued your way up to her. Not that you would have any other choices. As the distance decreased, you saw both Chastity and Modesty standing behind her. She truly called out the others as well, huh. This woman was about to make a show for everyone about you.

When the boy arrived at upstairs, Mary Lou let out an ominous smile and crossed her fingers satisfied.

"So Y/N." she started calmly as she stepped closer to you. "Where have you been exactly?"

It's none of your business.

"I just needed some fresh air. That's all."

"Some fresh air? Oh! Why didn't you say it earlier?" She giggled menacingly "I noticed that nowadays your needs went higher anyway."

You swallowed heavily to this answer.

"What do you mean, Mother?"

"Oh, where should I start?" She was thinking loudly while she started walking in a circle around you. Just like when a predator was about to catch its prey. "Your work is pretty questionable you know. Instead of doing a proper job, you really like.. chatting instead." You heard another chuckle behind your back. "2 strangers in their twenties. A woman and a man. What a nice visit, should I say."

Your lungs suddenly squeezed in the realization. She was talking about the time when you and Credence lied about Newt's visit. "That's.."

"What? Do you want to tell me that there wasn't anyone here? But I even have a witness." She said glancing to Modesty, who suddenly looked away uncomfortably.

A heavy gulp piled up in your stomach as you quickly moved your regard to the little girl. She probably saw from the upstairs as they were talking with both of you. And most likely your mother asked her if you had lied to her or not. Well, it was clearly the latter.

"Or should I mention your little adventure from yesterday?" Her dangerously calm tone sank down into your bones. Again, she arrived behind your back when she continued. "Waiting in the snowfall for that boy, just to have a nice chat in some cafeteria? It's so romantic!"

You scaredly glanced to Chastity, and your regard met with her cold eyes. Her expression was serious and refusing, clearly showing that she didn't want to deny her action at all. You should have trusted that cautious feeling. 

She was following you.

Not being to say anything, you pinned your regard down to the floor. You didn't have any card against this. The fact that Chastity saw everything made your heartbeat stop for a moment. She was determined to spy you in your mother's favor. So much to do against you even if you didn't do anything to her. You've never said a wrong word about neither of them, yet now both of your sisters decided to turn against you. Why? Why her? Why that monster?

This was just... so unfair. 

Mary Lou slowed the pace of her circling and stopped in front of you. You couldn't help but look up to her dark eyes in this distance. "You know, Y/N, your attitude as it is now, it's unacceptable." she whispered to you as she pushed to the side of the banister that kept you from falling to downstairs. Your heart started racing as you felt danger overpower you. "I'm disgusted with you."

Suddenly this moved something in you. A feeling of such dangerous baldness that you couldn't refuse to. You swallowed down all your fear and made up an eye-contact with her. Then a smile followed the answer that needed to be said. "That makes the two of us, you fucking monster."

"How dare you!" She cried out, having her face instantly turn red. Her reaction made your grin even wider until-

S m a c k!

You lost your balance as the hard punch reached the left side of your face and fell onto the floor. The sudden shock jolted your cheek as it was stinging painfully. Opening one eye of yours, you looked up to the woman, whose palm was still in the same position as it hit your face. You couldn't help but blink silently as you were processing what has just happened. She slapped you with all her force. She had never done this before.

"Impudent!" She shouted at you, still covering embarrassment and anger her regard. "Who do you think you are talking to?! In this house, this behavior is strictly forbidden!" But then she took a deep inhale, forcing up the previous calm tone she had. "This just proves that my accusation is right. You don't do anything but keep kicking up the rules. And you show a really, really bad influence on the others." Then suddenly, her voice darkened "If you try to divert others from the right path, God will not forgive you. And me neither." She glanced at Chastity "Please bring me my staff."

Your blood froze as you heard her command. She only used the staff on you once, when you tried to escape with Credence without any success. It was 10 times worse than the belt. that long, hard wooden stick could hit really painfully, leaving marks for even more weeks. You exactly knew how hell of a punishment it was compared to her general solution. 

"What is your problem?!" you cried out, shooting her an angry regard. 

"You Miss, are my problem!" She snapped back, but then lowered her voice "You are definitely walking on Satan's path. I have a duty to protect my family from those like you. And I will do it at any cost!"

"How can you be so sure?" 

"Don't ever question me! You have no right for that!" She growled at you irritably. "I felt when I adopted you that you would bring so much suffering to my family. You should be careful that I didn't let you die already."

"But this is not life either!" You stood up intensely, forgetting the dizziness, that was still in your head. "Can't you see it?! You're killing us!"

"Oh is this what that guy told you? He must be on Satan's path as well." Then she glanced to Chastity, who just arrived back with the needed object. "Thank you, Dear." she showed her a warm smile before the woman darkened her expression once more. "You two would make a great couple for sure. The Sinning and the Fallen. Both that the humanity has to get rid of." Then a menaced chuckle let out her lips. "Just like Eve, who followed the darkness until it destroyed the future of the whole world. And your Adam decided to join you. Newt, am I guessing right?"

"How-" you shocked down as you felt your heart skip a beat. 

"A chatty bird has sung me during my way."

Your lungs squeezed in fear, as you shakily moved your regard to your friend, who was still standing next to the stairs as fragile as he was. But as soon as your eyes met, you felt such a pain in your chest that took even your breath away. Your steady attitude trembled so much that it pushed away your balance as well, making you grab the banister to keep yourself straight. Quickly breaking the contact, you stared down at the floor, feeling that tears were about to gather in your eyes. Somehow, this betrayal felt even worse than the other two in all.

"Oh was it a secret?" She giggled dangerously, clearly enjoying your suffering. "Well he surely needed a little 'push', but after that, his words flowed like a river. So silly to think that you could survive out there. And dreaming about that Newt to save you all, so pathetic. You ARE so pathetic Y/N"

You shot her an angry literally forcing yourself back not to jump on him "Why the fuck did you hurt him?! Why do you have to torment us?!"

"He slacked out yesterday just like you did, so at this point, I thought it would be the best to hit 2 birds with one stone. And I do think it was successful." 

"You motherfu-" Full of tears, shouting out as loud as you could, this time you didn't want to hold yourself back, but she was quicker than you were and swang the staff that hit your ears and cheeks with threating power.

"Don't even dare!"

You gasped in pain and surprise, and the stinginess made you completely lose your balance once more but this time you managed not to fall. Tears slid down onto the ground as you tried to cover up the mark with your hand-

She hit you again, this time aiming the back of your hand that you just tried to comfort. You closed your eyes as it started burning from the hard swing. quickly grabbing it with the other palm, you tried to hold back your tears as it was possible. You had to stay strong to show that even this monster isn't able to take back the hope that someone else gave you. 

Another hit. 

This time on your palm. It was the most painful one, as she teared up the still sensitive scars with a quick movement. You've fallen to your knees, panting heavily as the pain took away your slightest air form your lungs. 

One more on the same side of your already numb cheeks. She really didn't hold anything back on this one. The momentum made you fall to your elbow. You felt warm blood drop down as she managed to tear up your lower lip. It, however, didn't hurt you at all. It felt nothing compared to the other ones.

"I still didn't hear anything from you." Mary Lou said in a satisfied tone. "Don't you wanna say something that we all want to hear?"

Clenching your teeth together, you forced yourself to look up through your tears with the most disgusted regard you could manage. "F-Fuck you."

"Wrong answer!" She growled back irritably and landed another swing this time on your back.

You cried out in a dying voice as the air got pushed out from your chest once again. Your arms gave up under this sudden pressure and you fell down completely onto the ground. That was it. You were lying like a hunted animal while she stood over you as the proud huntress. The power got over her completely. You had no influence against her. No chance. Nothing.

You were nothing else in her eyes just an obnoxious problem that she had to get rid as soon as possible.

This thought somehow crushed you even more.

She raised her arm to hit you once more, but this time all you could hear was a surprised cry she let out. Gathering all your strength to look up, you saw her struggling with something. She.. didn't move an inch. What? What was happening? It was not normal.

"Y/N, go!" Credence suddenly commanded you as loudly as it was possible. You flinched at the source of a new sound and quickly turned your regard to him. His eyes were red and puffed up from the continuous crying, but you could see something else too. Something wild and powerful...it scared you but his words were protective. "GO!"

You didn't hesitate but pushed yourself up from the ground, and as soon as you got onto your feet, the woman could move again. 

Her expression showed how terrified she became in just a mere second "Witch! You are a witch!" She shouted at you as she swang the staff to keep you away. "Go away from this house! Leave us ALONE!"

Jumping back, you managed to avoid another hit from her, and you didn't hesitate to turn your back to her and rush down the stairs as quick as you could. Your head was still dizzy from the previous torture and it made your feet slip down at the end of the stairs, straining your ankle in the hecticness. You couldn't run anymore.. not that your current state would have let you anyway. But still, with heavy pants, you managed your way out of the building. 

It was snowing out there. 

Not wasting any seconds, you decided to run away as far as you could. Not that any of them would have waited for you to come back. Not even Credence. Mary Lou was right, you didn't bring them anything but suffering. You had no place there. 

It was just you alone.

Only when the Salem was officially out of sight, you could stop and let out a deep sight. The frozen weather made your palm burn brutally, making you clench your teeth together to bear the pain. Everything hurt like hell... even your soul. All of them turned against you and left you alone as Mary Lou used you as her toy. If they haven't betrayed you, this might haven't even happened. Other gross tears left your eyes as your mind wandered back to them. No, you shouldn't strain yourself anymore. With a quick swipe, you cleared them away. You had to be strong now. Or else this world would eat you in half.

You looked up the tower-clock. It was just before 5 pm, although you could have easily guessed it on your own since it started darkening already. But then.. what now? Glancing up at the clock once more, a crazy idea got into your mind. No, that was insanity. You would straight up kill yourself out here. But well... after all you were already half dead.

"Now or never." You whispered out to yourself as a self-command. Then with some heavy steps, you went to the end of that little alley that leads to the frum where you and Newt have always met. After arriving there, you searched for a bigger carton paper from the landfill. It felt so ironic that now you were that homeless person that you'd passed the other day. Fate could change pretty quickly.

After finding a proper one, you put that down on the ground, paying attention that you could look at out from there. And then, you carefully sat down on it, pulling your knees to your chest to keep most of the heat with you. Your eyes pinned on the always-rushing citizens on the street. 

Waiting patiently. 

That maybe, only maybe.. a guy with a certain mazarine colored fabric coat and a suitcase would appear. 

You were hilarious.

But at this point, this was the only hope you could grab.

 

___________________________

 

Don't sleep.

If you sleep, you'll freeze.

Just... don't sleep.

"Y/N!" 

You heavily raised your eyes to the source of the noise. It felt so far and muffled that it was just your imagination playing with you. How long have you been like this anyway? For one or two hours at least. And of course, nobody came. Your mind was so desperate to just put all this up again.

"Y/N can you hear me?"

This time, you flinched at the voice and losing all your sleepiness, you started searching for the sound. But as soon as you lifted up your head, a warm hand touched your coat from the side. You instantly moved your regard there, where you instantly find him here.

"N-Newt?" You mumbled out, almost shocked at the sight of his. This couldn't be real. You just couldn't be this lucky, could you? It must have just been a dream. You slowly reached up your other hand, and shakily touched his arm. The snowflakes on his coat melted to your touch even if it was already frozen. Even his expression, as he confusedly looked that to where your fingers brushed his fabric coat, it wasn't something could make up. "Oh my god, you're real.. you're real..." You let out a relieved sigh as tears gathered up in your already red eyes. 

"What happened Y/N?" He asked, clearly having a mix of terror and worry in his eyes.

"Ugh.. long story." You answered quietly, which he understood immediately.

"It's fine you can always tell me later." He showed you as much of a reassuring smile as he could. "Now you have to get to somewhere warm. You already almost froze to death. Can you walk?"

"I.." He tried to pull you onto your feet, but as soon as you would have to rely on your legs, they gave up their service and you almost fell back to the ground "I'm sorry, I can't." You stuttered out embarrassedly as you grabbed his coat to balance yourself. You were too fragile to even move properly. 

How pathetic.

"It's fine it's fine." He calmed you down, while he thinking about a proper solution. 

"I'm sorry I'm just a burden." You told him, now that your inner anxiety burst up again.

he showed you a warm smile in exchange. "You don't need to apologize." Then, like something just popped up in Newt's mind, his expression changed. "I know something.. but you have to trust me. Will you Y/N?"

You looked up and saw him looking away shyly. You really needed to give him permission for whatever he wanted to do. For a second you hesitated, but after all, you couldn't really lose anything at this point. "I trust you Newt." You answered him in a trembling tone even if you wanted to sound confident with this one. 

He glanced back at you, then on the other side of his jacket. "Alright." He said and with a hand, he reached into his inner pocket to search for something. In the meanwhile, you felt something move in the pocket at his chest, but it might have been your imagination. You were dead tired after all.

"Newt.." you called him before he would have found the thing he was looking for. He immediately stopped, to your voice.

"Yes?"

You closed your eyes and tightened your grab on his coat. "Thank you... For coming for me."

He didn't answer for a second, probably because he didn't know how to. Even if that didn't sound it like that to you, but for him, this last sentence of yours was more honest than all of your other ones. It was something special. Something pure. Something, that somehow didn't get shuttered in pieces.

"I.. promised it, didn't I?" He murmured in a shy, but grateful tone.

You paused to hear the same sentence that you kept your hope onto this whole time. A weak, but true smile appeared on your lips as another tear slid down on your face.

"Yes, you did." You opened up your eyes, not letting go that smile from you. For once, you felt it was real. That nobody was lying to you. You felt safe.

Seeing you turn a bit more relieved, made his worry lower as well. Your regard moved to his hand that was still in his inner pocket. But then your eyes widened in confusion and curiosity as he pulled out a wand from there. 

"Are you ready Y/N?" He glanced down at you, waiting for acceptance that you gave. "Alright, please grab my coat tightly. This might be a bit intense for someone who does this at the first time." Again, you nodded in agreement and tightened your grab on his coat even it pained your scars even more. 

For the last time, he showed you a reassuring smile.

Then with a sweep, both of you disappeared without any trace left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //Hey Guys~☆
> 
> Sorry for the late update I got carried away with the story hahah
> 
> Also, I didn't want to split this chapter in two since the story was pretty related to each other. But I hope you don't mind this to be a bit longer one~☆
> 
> Anyway, I also wanted to write a bit longer chapter for now because it'll be questionable when I'll be able to post the next one (we'll be traveling so it's kinda difficult)
> 
> If you had any opinion about this one though, I'm always open to comments! 
> 
> See you in the next one~☆//


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